On Saturday the gym's weight-loss contest ended. I got up early and went in for my measurements. Overall I've gained 3 lbs. In 3 months. Kind of pathetic on a weight-loss competition. But, I have to look at the big picture. I actually lost 8 pounds of fat and gained 11 pounds of muscle. I'm trying to be happy with that, but in reality I know I could have done better. Did I tell you that I finished off 2 cartons of ice cream yesterday? TWO!!! That's what happens to me. I don't control anything. It was only in the house because of Ben's birthday party. But, if I was doing things the right way, turning all my choices over to Heavenly Father's will, there is no way I would have eaten all that. A part of me was saying, "just eat it and get it out of the house." Isn't there a better way? Is it okay to be wasteful and throw it away? Or is that a sin, too? I also finally gave in and bought a small bag of Cadbury candy-coated eggs. They are my favorite and I've done well to not buy them this season. Then, last night, I made a late night run to the store for a few things we needed and Kannon wanted some powdered doughnuts. In my mind I thought, "if he gets a treat then I do too." But, he told me he didn't need me to buy them, he just wanted them. So, really, I bought the donuts so that I could justify buying something for me. It's bad. I feel so wicked, too. I'm not finishing what I've started. Why can't I just stop? I have this great friend who has done so well. I think this is about 4 weeks now that she hasn't had the sugar treats we all crave. I have a chart on my wall that I created right after the weight-loss competition started. It's just as blank as it was 3 months ago. And I look just as fat as I did then, and my clothes don't fit any better. But, I'm not quitting. I'll be going to Zumba tonight and shaking what my momma gave me. Someday I hope to have better things to say.
